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Amid all the rumours of the new iPhone 5, one new product has been neglected.

Later this month, Apple is due to announce the most revolutionary mobile phone ever. It will redefine what a mobile phone is, how it looks and what it is meant to do.

The new device (an exclusive picture of which can be seen here) is called the iPhone Shuffle.

The iPhone Shuffle does away with the recent innovations of apps and music but it also does away with the traditional phone keypad.

The way it works is that you upload all your phone numbers to your iPhone Shuffle using a PC or Mac and, when you want to make a call, you just shake it. The iPhone Shuffle will then dial someone at random and you can have a chat with them using the supplied headphone/microphone combo.

An Apple insider told me, “We did a lot of research and it turned out that in 99% of cases when people make calls, they don’t really have anything interesting to say or care who they are saying it to. Once we found that out, doing away with the keypad made perfect sense.”

Personally, I think this makes a lot of sense and, at $49 for an unlocked iPhone Shuffle, it’s going to fly off the shelves. Expect queues around the block of your nearest Apple Store very soon.

This morning, I was pointed to an interesting article by John Battelle by the BBC’s equally interesting Rory Cellan-Jones.

The central premise of the article is that the iPad is doomed to failure for the same reason that AOL was doomed to failure – the walled garden approach makes the product weaker than its ‘full fat’ alternative. With the iPad, it’s main weaknesses are, according to Battelle, the lack of inbuilt development environment and the browser.

Interestingly (to me, at any rate), one of the reasons that I do not want an iPad is the lack of inbuilt development environment. Sure, I have a Mac and a PC and I could use one of them to code before uploading but I’d rather tinker with it directly. As for the browser, it would be great to be able to use something else but Safari is beyond competent and, in my opinion, Flash is very much yesterday’s technology. There is no argument that there is a lot of Flash out there on the web right now but there are also a lot of analogue CRT TVs out there now – the technology is there to rid us of the processor-sapping scurge of Flash and the technology is there to rid us of those massive TVs too – and both will happen very soon.

I also think that the iPad has other deficiencies – lack of a camera and a mic being just two of them. I’d also like to see a bundled SD/other memory card reader/writer and myriad other things. Also, I’d be happier if Apple weren’t stiffing the UK on the price – but I could overcome that as I know enough people who spend a lot of time in the States. They are just some of the reasons why I do not want an iPad.

The thing is, though, that neither John Battelle nor I are the target market. Well, we are in a way – we are sentient human beings – but beyond that, we are, if I may be so bold, a bit geeky, a bit techie.

The average target is a person who wants to sit on his or her sofa, with the TV on in the background, browsing the web, playing a game or sending emails. They’re probably not even tweeting – although I wouldn’t be surprised if the Facebook app is getting a bit of a workout.

It needs to offer fast, accurate browsing. It needs to have good battery life. It needs to look coolio.

The average user doesn’t care whether he or she can download a PC program or a Mac program – because if their mind, they have neither a PC nor a Mac in their hands, it’s an iPad. Maybe they understand that better than we do.

As techies, we get excited about things that normal people don’t – predominantly because, if you were to take a step back, you’d realise they’re not that exciting. Sure, it’s great that Windows 2035 has 12,000 new features but (a) do I need any of them and (b) do they work? The small jumps in processor speed that some upgrades announce are greeted with pseudo-orgasmic glee by some techs while most humans can barely raise an educated ‘meh’.

So, will the iPad fail? Not a chance. It’s a fab piece of kit that works out of the box. It looks incredible and it does what is says on the tin. Users have got so used to using substandard Microsoft (and other) software and hardware that holding a piece of hardware that does what it is meant to, despite that being less than a ‘real’ computer would do, is a blessing. It has all the convenience of VHS with the enhanced quality of Betamax (I throw that one in for the older readers – younger readers, remember, Wikipedia is your friend!).

And for us geeks? Why will we get one? Simple! It is a closed environment. Sounds like a challenge to me…

>Google has just announced its streamlined operating system, Chrome OS, and the blogosphere has gone into some sort of crazy meltdown with quite a few people suggesting that it will be the end of Microsoft.

But is that just wishful thinking?

The move to cloud-esque computing has caught the Redmond behemoth pretty much off-guard but it has started to show signs that it realises that people want to be able to access data and services independently of their own computers, allowing them to login from other access points and share between them. Microsoft is, though, taking its time in getting it right and it seems to be in a state of some denial over what this development means for its operating system – an operating system which remains anything but sylph-like.

Apple are, if the rumours are to be believed (and remember that we only ever know anything about what Apple is up to from rumours), in the advanced stages of putting together a massive, billion dollar cloud based data centre in the States. So we know that they get it and, in any event, the Apple fantopia (of which I freely admit to being a member) will be loyal to the leadership at Cupertino whatever happens.

So that leaves Linux.

Linux has always had underworldly appeal but has failed to break into the mainstream. Its best shot has been with the recent advent of netbooks but Microsoft’s decision to carry on flogging the not-very-well-if-not-actually-dead-yet horse that is XP as a cheap-ish OS option for the dinky devices has meant that users can have the portability of the netbook with the security-blanket comfort of a familiar Microsoft operating system. It was a struggle that Linux could never win but it was one in which, at least, it could increase its market share.

Google seems to have identified that there are a significant number of netbook users who just want to be able to use their netbook for… well, the net. So they have massively stripped down the OS and have made it, pretty much, a ‘browser-only’ party. That could well appeal to a significant number of users who want a cheap netbook (using Chrome OS on a netbook will cut down the price of the device as there will be no need for a Microsoft licence fee) but don’t want the geek chic, command-line-ability of Linux – probably because they’re afraid of it/they’re afraid of their techy mates who keep trying to explain how wonderful and pure the world of Linux is.

So, at the moment at least, Microsoft seems to have little to fear. Sure, they will lose some users that might have bought an XP netbook but they will not lose users who need that added functionality that their ever-so-slightly bloated OS can provide. Linux looks pretty much as if it will be dead in the water as an option, kept alive solely to provide the underlying infrastructure of Chrome OS, ironically. And Apple, well, Apple will be kept afloat by its cultish followers who know in their hearts that Apple can do no wrong.

But (and it’s a big but) if the Chrome OS proves to be more substantial over time than it looks today and, when combined with Google’s excellent cloud data and service offering, if it can provide everything that Microsoft can through Windows and Office, Microsoft have a big problem. If they are seen to react rather than innovate, they will lose traction in the market and, as things currently stand, it is simply impossible to see them doing a major u-turn on their OS and making it small, sleek and sexy.

Microsoft’s demise has been predicted before. But today, there is a big cloud bearing down on Redmond and it is a cloud with a Chrome lining.

>Dear Steve

I hope that this letter finds you well and that you will soon be back at the helm, doing great things. But I was wondering, is there any chance that you could see your way clear to making a massive u-turn and having a word in someone’s ear?

I want to make something really clear from the start – I am a MacHead, an Apple FanBoi, an iFan, whatever you want to call me, that’s me. To me, Apple has some fundamental values and ways of working that should be celebrated. I guess it’s just the way I am.

However, if someone else does something good, I’ll happily admit it and sing their praises too – Richmond, I’m talking about you here! Equally, if Apple do something bad, I’ll kick off.

And so it is that I begin to kick off…

Steve, I can fully understand that entering the netbook (TM Psion – for now) market could have an effect on sales of Apple’s more expensive high end products but here’s the thing – this is a massively expanding market. The reasons are probably two-fold. Firstly, we are in the middle of a recession and people are looking at every option (especially the cheaper options) and, secondly, a lot of us travel and need to be connected 24/7 either for work or because we have developed information OCD.

An iTablet thing will not be the answer simply because of the keyboard. Being able to type quickly on an iPhone is a completely different thing to being able to type quickly on a real keyboard. It is a tactile thing. Your fingers dance across a real keyboard in a way that is not possible on screen where they dance across the screen with all the grace that I am imagining Woz will manage on the tv programme that he’s doing (although I may be doing him a great disservice there!). Typing on screens is a great thing and its implementation on the iPhone is superb – but at the end of the day, nobody in their right minds would write massive articles on a iPhone.

We need a proper Apple netbook, Steve. We just do. If you really believe that it will slow the uptake of MacBooks and MacBook Pros, then you underestimate both how good those products are and how much you still need a full size computer when you are using a netbook. In my mind, if you had an Apple netbook, your natural choice after experiencing the joy and wonder of OSX would be a full size MacBook.

Sadly, it is because of Apple’s steadfast refusal to enter the netbook market that I am now the owner of a white Samsung NC10. It is a lovely bit of kit. It is well built and if it wasn’t for the stickers on it proclaiming that it is filled with Richmond’s ‘finest’, you would think it was a diddy white MacBook. Steve, do you remember the diddy iBook that sold so well? Do you? My fondest memory of it was when I went to magical Reykjavik. It seemed that you could not pass a coffee shop without seeing a crowd of people, huddled around giant mugs and tiny iBooks. Everyone seemed to have one. Imagine how that could have evolved, Steve, if you had not made that frankly ridiculous decision to stop making it. What was that about?

Now, I’m not condoning this and I’d go so far as to say that it is wrong, but does you wonder why people in the hackint0sh community are going to such great lengths to get OSX on to netbooks? Much success has already been had with the MSI Wind and the Samsung NC10 as well as a few others. Some of them will be doing it for the challenge but lots are doing it because they want a machine running OSX. So do I, Steve. So do I. But I will not load it on to another machine because it is wrong – so you’ve pushed me to use XP.

So, there you go. I’m an Apple FanBoi who, after purging his entire house of Richmond related garbage, has just gone out and bought an XP machine. And, Steve, it’s your fault.

Apple’s position on this is complete madness. I know that you will not want to just produce another netbook and that you will want it to be special but we both know that, if anybody can, Apple can. Imagine the MacBook Nano Air (you can have that name on me). Fantastic.

Come on, Steve. Get well soon and sort out this netbook situation. Please

Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

James

>Rules of World-O-Stuff:

1 – Never comment on rumours.
2 – Never admit that you’d want a game on your very serious iPhone.
3 – Never admit to wanting anything Lego-y when you’re over 12 years old.

So, anyhoo…

Pocket Gamer has printed a rumour of a version of Lego Batman that could be coming to an iPhone near you soon. As rumours go, it’s quite lame – no source, no idea who’s making it, no nothing. Other than an estimated ETA of October 2008.

True or not? Who knows – but it’s a great idea. Clearly iPhone gaming’s only starting to find its feet but the innovative control mechanism puts it potentially in the same bracket as the Nintendo Wii when it comes to the casual gamer. So, if you’re going to make Lego Batman (whoever you are!) make sure you don’t just port – make it truly iPhone and make the most of the accelerometer. And don’t hang about!

>It seems my previous post needs some clarification.

Imagine if you took a 3g iPhone and ran over it with a lorry – a big lorry – then smashed it with a hammer and dropped it in a vat of molten steel. Imagine you then took the steel and made it into mesh and then did the same thing again. You’d end up with something that was still better than any other mobile.

iPhones are incredibly good, technologically far superior to anything on the market and horribly addictive. The 3g variant will also be great and have lots of fans. My only issue is that I had expected something… more.

I’m not even sure what it is that I expected or wanted – just something a little ‘wow’! The original iphone delivered that ‘wow’ and while the 3g is a good upgrade, it isn’t enough to get me to upgrade the hardware – let alone get in a queue!

>Now, seriously, I’m not one to moan.

Wait a minute, I am – but that’s not the point.

It’s 1.50pm in the UK and still we have no iPhone 2.0 firmware – well, not officially anyway. And since Apple Legal got into gear, even the unofficial links to something that was either the final beta or the real deal have been taken down too.

The iPhone 3g is out – I’ve just had a go on one. The iPod Touch 2.0 upgrade is available for download. The App Store has been up for a while. MobileMe (dreadful name) is there, doing it’s thing (whatever that may be).

But no iPhone 2.0 firmward upgrade? What have we done wrong? Come on, sort it out.

Actually, this problem is all of Apple’s making. Steve Jobs and Jonathan Ive have raised the bar so high that we expect miracles. We want it all and we want it now. And sometimes we just don’t get it. The wait for 2.0 firmware has led so many people to jailbreak their iPhones that it’s small wonder that the teams working on the jailbreaks announced that they’d broken 2.0 earlier this morning.

And another thing, I’ve had a go on the new iPhone. Now, I’m a first gen iPhone person. It is a brilliant bit of kit (and will probably be even better when/if we ever get 2.0!) that made everyone reassess what they want out of a phone. It is stunning. How would they possibly top it?

Well, the answer seems to be with a 3g phone that has a nasty nasty shiny plastic back. The original has a lovely brushed steel back and is solid. It also has less battery life than the original – and if one more person says to me ‘well, if you want longer battery life, switch off 3g’, I’ll scream. It’s like saying ‘I’ve got a 4×4 gas guzzler but it’s very environmentally friendly because I don’t put any fuel in it’! The whole point of the 3g iPhone is that it’s 3g! If the battery can’t cope with it, don’t put it in.

It also, and this is a classic example of raising the bar and raising expectations, has two tiny horrible little screws in the bottom. The original doesn’t. The original is just a nicer design! You might think that I’m trying to find reasons not to like this and am relying on little things but it’s a little device and the little things are what makes it special (or not).

And another thing, have you seen the ‘white’ one? Well, it’s only what at the back, which makes it look as if someone’s just stuck a decal on it. At least with a decal, you could take it off once it becomes grubby – can you imagine a white 3g iPhone after a few months? Yeuch!

The iPhone is special. The original was incredible. I am sure that the new firmware will make it even better. But iPhone 3g is a mistake. Sorry Apple – I’m a big fan but…

Today’s lesson – If you make something really good, don’t follow it up with something inevitable or something that’s worse.